


Touch

by nhasablog



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Intimacy, M/M, Tickling, Touch-Starved, Touching, ticklish Spock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 14:45:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14107650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nhasablog/pseuds/nhasablog
Summary: He dropped his hand, if only to get Spock’s attention. “I know how much touch means to you, and I know how long it must’ve taken you to start trusting me to do it.”Spock tilted his head ever so slightly. “You were able to continuously prove that the trust had been earned.”“Still. Doesn’t mean it could’ve been easy.”(Or, Spock confesses that he enjoys proximity more than Jim was probably aware of.)





	Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Why is Spock so hard to write rip

Jim hadn’t realized how much Spock had been craving this until he’d whispered it into his hair in the dark. His hands were on the small of Jim’s back, pulling him closer so very gently, as if he was afraid Jim would break like a china doll. Jim had been so entirely caught up on those fingers on his skin that he’d almost missed the breathed out confession.

“Sorry?” His confusion had been too loud for the moment, but he had a feeling Spock’s wince hadn’t been because of that.

“I-”

Spock never hesitated. Jim pulled away. “Spock?”

A sharp inhale. “I am enjoying this more than you presumably are aware of.”

“Should I be offended?” Jim tried to joke in order to get his suddenly frantic heart from slowing down. “Walk me through this. You enjoy the proximity?”

“Precisely.”

“That’s not a bad thing. You shouldn’t be ashamed.” Jim reached out and was glad when Spock didn’t pull away. “I like being close to you, too.”

Spock leaned into his touch, and Jim traced the smooth skin of his jawline for a moment in silence. This hadn’t been their first time, but the topic of Them had thus far only been an abstract one they rarely discussed. They knew what it meant, so they’d found no reason to put it into words.

Only now it had been brought up, and by Spock of all people. Jim felt as if dropping the subject would be communicational suicide.

He dropped his hand, if only to get Spock’s attention. “I know how much touch means to you, and I know how long it must’ve taken you to start trusting me to do it.”

Spock tilted his head ever so slightly. “You were able to continuously prove that the trust had been earned.”

“Still. Doesn’t mean it could’ve been easy.”

Spock opened his mouth, and there was the hesitation again. Either he wasn’t sure how to put his feelings into words or he was scared of what his words could do. Jim wasn’t sure which option was more likely.

“I am aware of the fact that you have a certain view of me,” he finally said. “And of my upbringing.”

Jim shrugged in affirmation.

“I confess that that view is not true in its entirety.”

“Oh?” The sheets rustled as Jim sat up more properly.

“It is true that my Vulcan upbringing resulted in my habits being exceedingly different from human ones. But I had a human mother.”

The last part was a story all on its own.

“My mother was, as far as I am aware, a typical human in her positive attributes. Kind, loving, warm, and most importantly, affectionate. Not even my father could persuade her to stop embracing me when no other Vulcans were in our immediate proximity. I do not want to indicate that my relationship with her affects my relationship with you-” Jim’s heart skipped a beat at the verbal confirmation. “-but I am however aware that my fondness for parts of our connection is due to my association with touch.”

“It makes you feel safe.”

“I reckon that is a correct way to summarize it.”

Jim could picture it. A smaller and probably less stoic version of Spock sighing with relief as Amanda wrapped her arms around her precious son, sheltering him from all he had to endure as the only half-Vulcan around. Jim had known Spock for long enough to know that his childhood hadn’t been easy.

He could also picture hands ripping a slightly older Spock out of his mother’s embrace, never letting him return again.

If Spock had seen something in his face that had prevented him from commenting on how Jim had suddenly lunged at him, he didn’t know. He held Spock closely, his face buried in his neck until Spock finally hugged him back, and Jim could feel the desperation radiating from the mere action. Spock was more touch starved than Jim had ever been.

Jim should’ve known, but somehow he’d always thought touch was merely a sexual thing for Vulcans. A thing to do behind closed doors with a significant other. He hadn’t ever thought that sometimes all Spock needed was a hug.

“Do you have any preferences when it comes to touch?” Jim asked into his neck. “Like, I personally would die for back rubs, so you probably have something too.”

Spock seemed to hesitate once more, but since Jim couldn’t see him he wasn’t entirely sure. “I do confess that I am secretly very enthusiastic- well, as far as my enthusiasm goes.”

“Was that a joke?”

Spock ignored him. “I do enjoy the lighter version of back rubs.”

“Back tickles?”

“Yes.”

“Can’t blame you. Imagine falling asleep to that each night.” Jim pulled away enough to be able to look at him. “Do you want me to tickle you to sleep?”

Spock nodded, but Jim could sense so much more behind that nod.

“Lie down on your stomach.”

It was no secret that touching Spock was both thrilling and terrifying. Jim had longed to trace the skin of his back, arms, shoulders, thighs for longer than he was willing to admit, but before they had established that it was allowed Jim was always worried of crossing a line. Worried that Spock just didn’t want to ruin anything by telling him to stop.

To have permission to reach out now was more than Jim could ever dream of, and so after getting Spock to verbally confirm that this was fine he wasted no time in letting his fingertips collide with Spock’s shoulder blade. It took Spock all of three seconds to melt into the mattress.

“Do not stop,” was all his said, and Jim had to laugh.

“Don’t intend to, don’t worry.”

Jim had heard Spock utter all kinds of noises during their more intimate moments together, but the mere sound of his content sigh made Jim more excited than he could explain. Knowing that he was doing this not only for himself, but also for Spock, was astounding.

And then Spock jerked away from his touch and Jim was left wondering what the hell he’d done wrong.

“What-”

“I am having a flashback,” Spock said, rolling onto his back so that Jim could see him better. “I reckon that is the term you would use.”

“I’d probably just say that I remembered something, but sure. What is it?”

“My mother used to do that.”

“Tickle your back?”

“And other parts.”

_Oh_. “You’re ticklish.”

“Most species are,” Spock said defensively. “It is most illogical to not react to gentle touches, as it is a way to detect unwanted beings on your skin.”

Jim’s lips quirked upward. “That’s cute.”

Spock’s face was green-tinted. “Vulcans do not engage in this willingly, but-”

“Your mother did.”

“Merely with myself and possibly with my father.”

Jim tilted his head to the side. “And did you like doing it?”

“I do admit that it made me feel safe.”

Jim reached out to place his hands on Spock’s thighs playfully. “How would it make you feel now do you think?”

Spock narrowed his eyes at him. “I am not qualified to answer that question yet.”

Jim gave his thigh a squeeze. “Yet, huh?”

“I am not stupid enough to believe you will not take advantage of this newfound knowledge.”

“I never pegged you as stupid.” Jim squeezed again, and this time Spock jerked his legs away, though not enough to get Jim to let go. It was merely an automatic reaction.

“I cannot be held accountable for the possible harm or even embarrassment this might result in.” Which was Spock language for “please tickle me”.

So Jim did. Flew forward to settle down on Spock’s hips and let his hands find his worst spots, and while his fingers scribbled over ribs and sides and underarms Spock laughed. And it was better than any dream.

Jim had heard Spock laughing before, but it was usually a breathy, quiet one. Like a secret he was only sharing with Jim. But this? This was the exact opposite. As he lied there squirming, writhing, struggling to both escape and stay put, the laughter was loud and uncontrollable. Everything Spock wasn’t, and Jim adored it. Adored how much he trusted him to stop when he asked for it. To keep going when he needed it.

“This is too good to be true,” he said, grinning as he traced the sensitive skin of Spock’s exposed hips. “You look adorable, by the way.”

Spock’s face turned even greener, his head thrown back and that helpless smile etched on his lips. It all made Jim feel too many things to properly express them.

So he just kept tickling, and Spock kept laughing, and in the end, when Spock was all tickled out, they went to bed feeling tired but content.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my [tumblr](http://nhasablog.tumblr.com).


End file.
